LeTTer To a MaN

I Just Need To Be Loved

~ The Trouble With Love Is ~

by Kelly Clarkson

oooh...ooh yeah mmmm

Love can be a many splendid thing

Can't deny the joy it brings

A dozen roses

Diamond rings

Dreams for sale

And fairy tales

It'll make you hear a symphony

And you'll just want the world to see

But like a drug that makes you blind

It'll fool you every time

The trouble with love is

It can tear you up inside

Make your heart believe a lie

It's stronger then your pride

The trouble with love is

It doesn't care how fast you fall

And you can't refuse the call

See you've got no say at all

Now I was once a fool it's true

I played the game by all the rules

But now my world's a deeper blue

I'm sadder but I'm wiser too

I swore I'd never love again

I swore my heart would never mend

Said love wasn't worth the pain

But then I hear it call my name

The trouble with love is

It can tear you up inside

Make your heart believe a lie

It's stronger then your pride

The trouble with love is

It doesn't care how fast you fall

And you can't refuse the call

See you've got no say at all

Every time I turn aroundI think

I've got it all figured out

My heart keeps calling

And I keep on falling

Over and over again

This set story always ends the same

Me standing in the pouring rain

It seems no matter what

I doIt tears my heart in two

The trouble with love is (the trouble with love)

It can tear you up inside (it can tear you up inside)

Make your heart believe a lie

(Make your heart believe a lie)

It's stronger then your pride

(The trouble with love is)

It's in your heart it's in your soul

(It doesn't care how fast you fall)

Your losing your control

(And you can't refuse the call)

See you've got no say at all

The trouble with love is

(Oooh yeah)

It can tear you up inside

Make your heart believe a lie

(the trouble with love..)

~Luv CL~

I M A G I N E

Imagine there's no heaven

It's easy if you try

No hell below us

Above us only sky

Imagine all the people

Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions

I wonder if you can

No need for greed or hunger

A brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people

Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will live as one

s t o r i e s

Jom Lipat Kain

Haa... sesiapa yang agak-agak tak berapa reti nak lipat kain especially baju T nak bagi nampak kemas..buatlah mesin nie..D.I.Y.. nampak macam senang dan sangat-sangat intresting... jom tengok video nie cara-cara membuat acuan ( boleh la dikatakan) dan melipat baju dengan teknik yang amat mudah..

Luv CL :)

Perasaan Apakah Ini?

Perasaan MARAH, BENCI, MENYAMPAH, MERAJUK, SEDIH, KECEWA dan macam-macam lagi seangkatan dengannya yang membuatkan jiwa menjadi tak tentu arah, hampa, kosong, meronta, tertekan, luluh dan peritnya yang maha sakit. Walaupun dicuba berkali-kali melenyapkan segala kedukaan tersebut dan merawat lukanya hampir setiap hari tetapi bayangan kisah sedih itu tetap menghantui. Kadang-kadang terfikir walaupun cuba menjadi yang terbaik dan berbuat baik tetapi mengapakah balasannya tidak seperti yang diimpikan. Walaupun mungkin tidak mengharapkan balasan cuma mengharapkan supaya hati tidak disakiti atau dihancuri. Kepada Tuhan dahi disujud dan dipanjatkan doa setiap hari memohon supaya dicekalkan hati menempuh segala ujianNYA. Sekuatmana pun hati tidak terdaya juga menahan limpahan kolam air mata. Kata orang " forgive and forget". Mungkin sesetengah orang boleh memberi kemaafan dan melupakannya tetapi mampukah melupakan semua yang telah berlaku terutamanya jika melibatkan hati dan perasaan kerana hati yang dilukai tidak akan pernah melupai.

Puasa Qada'

Hari yang ke-2 berpuasa qada' bulan Ramadhan lepas.. badan macam lesu sangat..semalam ok jer..kalau puasa qada memang saya selalu macam nie..kalau puasa di bulan Ramadhan ok jer..agaknyer memang fadhilat dibulan mulia itu. Semalam berbuka makan nasi goreng USA dengan teh ais. Hari nak makan apa pulak yea..Kelaparan sungguh terasa semalam ( hari ni pun sama sebenarnya) , agaknya tak bersahur kot..mana taknya..mengadap world cup sampai kol 5.30 pagi.. tak berselera nak makan pepagi bercampur mata pun dah macam ada magnet ajer..mengantuk sangat-sangat dan frust pasukan pilihan "De Oranje" kalah tipis ngan Espana (alasan) ..di minit-minit terakhir masa tambahan si Iniesta ni dapat jaring 1 gol..(1st time Espana jadi Champion of WC)...lalu sebab nak sedapkan hati..bercakap di dalam hati "takper..dorang menang atau kalah tetap bawak balik gak duit juta-juta US..kita kat sini kalau sadis sangat apa pun tarak..baik tidur"...ceewahh!! pujuk diri sendiri ler tu..tetapi bersiap-sedialah kena jadi bahan dalam fb..takper akan difikirkan cara mencantas segala kutukan dan komen-komen kenkawan fb yang tidak berasas itu kemudian..hahaha...sebaek juga tak ikut kengkawan yang mengajak pegi tengok WC kat luar..Sebenarnya malas nak keluar sebab nak terus tido lepas habis game..kunci jam kat henfon kol 6.30pagi..tapi terjaga kol 6.45 pagi..hari nie tak bersahur juga..tapi tengah malam tadi ada melantak 2 keping roti gardenia butter scotch dengan air susu strawberry.
Ramadhan dah nak dekat. Tak lama lagi Aidilfitri lak..cepatnya masa berlalu..puasa qada' nie wajib diganti dengan segera sebelum Ramadhan akan datang. Kalau tidak diwajibkan membayar "fidyah" atau denda berbentuk beras kepada fakir miskin. Berapa banyak fidyah yang nak kena bayar bergantunglah berapa banyak puasa yang kita tinggal. Fidyah dibayar dalam bentuk beras dalam sukatan cupak. Berapa cupak kena bayar bergantunglah berapa hari tinggal puasa. kalau satu hari tahun lepas 1 cupak. Kalau 2 hari tahun lepas bayar 2 cupak dan seterusnya.... Lepas tu kan kalau dah bayar fidyah jangan harap boleh lepas macam tu ajer still kena ganti puasa tu bila-bila masa sebelum Ramadhan seterusnya kecuali ibu mengandung yang menghadapi kesukaran atau risiko atau sebarang keuzuran syarie, di mana ibu itu hanya perlu mengqada puasa dan tidak perlu membayar fidyah (kalau salah tolong betulkan yer ustaz & ustazah).

~ Luv CL~

How Not To Marry The WRONG Person...

There is a right way and a wrong way to get know someone for marriage.

The wrong way is to get caught up in the excitement and nuance of a budding relationship and in the process completely forget to ask the critical questions that help determine compatibility. One of the biggest mistakes that many young Muslims make is rushing into marriage without properly and thoroughly getting to know someone. A common myth is that the duration of a courtship is an accurate enough measure of how compatible two people are. The logic follows that the longer you speak with someone, the better you will know them. The problem with that premise is that no consideration is given to how that time is spent. Increasingly, young Muslim couples are engaging in so called "Halal Dating," which is basically socializing with each other in the company of friends or family. This includes going out to dinner, watching a movie, playing some sport or other leisure activity, etc. Depending on the family or culture, conversations are either minimal and chaperoned or worse, unrestricted and unsupervised. When you consider these limitations it makes one wonder when exactly, if ever at all, would the critical conversations take place? Unfortunately, for many, the answer is never and they live to suffer the consequences.

If you or someone you know is in the "getting to know someone" phase, the following guide offers advice on exactly what to look for and avoid:

1) Do not marry potential: Oftentimes men consider marrying a woman hoping she never changes while a woman considers marrying a man she hopes she can change. This is the wrong approach on both accounts. Don't assume that you can change a person after you're married to them or that they will reach their potential. There is no guarantee, after all, that those changes will be for the better. In fact, it's often for the worse. If you can't accept someone or imagine living with them as they are then don't marry them. These differences can include a number of things such as ideological or practical differences in religion, habits, hygiene, communication skills, etc.

2) Choose character over chemistry: While chemistry and attraction are no doubt important, character precedes them both. A famous quote follows, "Chemistry ignites the fire, but character keeps it burning." The idea of falling "in love" should never be the sole reason for marrying someone; it is very easy to confuse infatuation and lust for love. The most important character traits to look for include humility, kindness, responsibility and happiness. Here's a breakdown of each trait:
Humility: The humble person never makes demands of people but rather always does right by them. They put their values and principles above convenience and comfort. They are slow to anger, are modest, and avoid materialism.
Kindness: The kind person is the quintessential giver. They seek to please and minimize the pain of others. To know if a person is a giver, observe how they treat their family, siblings, and parents. Do they have gratitude towards their parents for all that they've done for them? If not, then know that they will never appreciate what you do for them. How do they treat people they don't have to be kind towards (i.e. waiters, sales associates, employees, etc)? How do they spend their money? How do they deal with anger; their own anger and their reaction to someone else's anger?
Responsibility: A responsible person has stability in their finances, relationships, job, and character. You can rely on this person and trust what they say.
Happiness: A happy person is content with their portion in life. They feel good about themselves and good about their life. They focus on what they have rather than on what they don't have. They very rarely complain.

3) Do not neglect the emotional needs of your partner: Both men and women have emotional needs and in order for a partnership to be successful those needs must be mutually met. The fundamental emotional need of a woman is to be loved. The fundamental emotional need of a man is to be respected and appreciated. To make a woman feel loved give her the three AAAs: Attention, Affection and Appreciation. To make a man feel loved give him the three RRRs: Respect, Reassurance and Relief. It is the obligation of each partner to make sure the other is happy and this extends to intimacy as well. As long as each partner is fulfilled by the emotional needs of the other, the intimate relationship will thrive. When a man takes seriously the emotional needs of his wife she will feel more encouraged to fulfill his sexual desires. Likewise, when a woman takes seriously the emotional needs of her husband he will feel more encouraged to give her the affection, love and appreciation she wants from him. Working together in this way encourages both giving and receiving.

4) Avoid opposing life plans: In marriage you can either grow together or grow apart. Sharing a common purpose in life will increase the chance that you will grow together.
You must know what the person is into. In other words, what are they ultimately passionate about? Then ask yourself, "Do I respect this passion?" "Do I respect what they are into?"
The more specifically you define yourself, i.e., your values, your beliefs, your lifestyle, the better chance you have of finding your life partner, your soul mate, the one you are most compatible with. Remember, before you decide who to take along on a trip, you should first figure out your destination.

5) Avoid pre-marital sexual / physical activity:
Recognize that there is incredible wisdom in why Allah (SWT) has ordered us to refrain from intimacy before marriage; they are to prevent great harms as well as to keep sacred what is the most blessed part of a relationship between a man and a woman.
Aside from the obvious spiritual consequences, when a relationship gets physical before its time, important issues like character, life philosophy and compatibility go to the wayside. Consequently, everything is romanticized and it becomes difficult to even remember the important issues let alone talk about them. Intellectual commitment must be established before emotional or sexual commitment.

6) Avoid lack of emotional connection: There are four questions that you must answer YES to:
Do I respect and admire this person? What specifically do I respect and admire about this person?
Do I trust this person? Can I rely on them? Do I trust their judgment? Do I trust their word? Can I believe what they say?
Do I feel Safe? Do I feel emotionally safe with this person? Can I be vulnerable? Can I be myself? Can I be open? Can I express myself?
Do I feel calm and at peace with this person?
If the answer is "I don't know, I'm not sure, etc." keep evaluating until you know for sure and truly understand how you feel. If you don't feel safe now, you won't feel safe when you are married. If you don't trust now, this won't change when you are married!

7) Pay Attention to Your Own Emotional Anxiety: Choosing someone you don't feel safe with emotionally is not a good recipe for a long-lasting and loving marriage. Feeling emotionally safe is the foundation of a strong and healthy marriage. When you don't feel safe, you can't express your feelings and opinions. Learn how to identify whether you are in an abusive relationship. If you feel you always have to monitor what you say, if you are with someone and you feel you can't really express yourself and are always walking on eggshells, then it's very likely you are in an abusive relationship. Look for the following things:
Controlling behavior: This includes controlling the way you act, the way you think, the way you dress, the way you wear your hair or

Hijab and the way you spend your time. Know the difference between suggestions and demands. Demands are an expression of control and if the demands are implied, than you must do it or there will be consequences. All of these are clear indications of abusive personalities.
Anger issues: This is someone who raises their voice on a regular basis, who is angry, gets angry at you, uses anger against you, uses put downs and curses at you, etc. You don't have to put up with this type of treatment. Many people who tolerate this behavior usually come from abusive backgrounds. If this is the case with you or someone you know, get help right away. Deal with those issues before getting married or before even thinking about getting married.

8) Beware of lack of openness In Your Partner: Many couples make the mistake of not putting everything on the table for discussion from the onset. Ask yourself, "What do I need to know to be absolutely certain I want to marry this person?" "What bothers me about this person or the relationship?" It's very important to identify what's bothering you, things that concern you and things you are afraid to bring up for discussion. Then you must have an honest discussion about them. This is a great way to test the strength of your relationship. Bringing up issues when there's conflict is a great opportunity to really evaluate how well you communicate, negotiate and work together as a team. When people get into power struggles and blame each other, it's an indication they don't work well as a team. Also important is being vulnerable around each other. Ask deep questions of each other and see how your partner responds. How do they handle it? Are they defensive? Do they attack? Do they withdraw? Do they get annoyed? Do they blame you? Do they ignore it? Do they hide or rationalize it? Don't just listen to what they say but watch for how they say it!

9) Beware of avoiding personal responsibility: It's very important to remember no one else is responsible for your

happiness. Many people make the mistake of thinking someone else will fulfill them and make their life better and that's their reason for getting married. People fail to realize that if they are unhappy as a single person, they will continue to be miserable when they are married. If you are currently not happy with yourself, don't like yourself, don't like the direction your life is going now, it's important to take responsibility for that now and work on improving those areas of your life before considering marriage. Don't bring these issues into your marriage and hope your partner will fix them.

10) Watch out for lack of emotional health and availability in your potential partner: Many people choose partners that are not emotionally healthy or available. One huge problem is when a partner is unable to balance the emotional ties to family members, the marriage ends up having three (or more) people in it rather than two. An example of this would be if a man is overly dependent on his mother and brings that relationship into the marriage; this is no doubt a recipe for disaster. Also important to consider are the following:
Avoid people who are emotionally empty inside. These include people who don't like themselves because they lack the ability to be emotionally available. They are always preoccupied with their deficiencies, insecurities and negative thoughts. They are in a perpetual fight with depression, never feel good, are isolated, are critical and judgmental; tend to not have any close friends and often distrust people or are afraid of them. Another clear indication about them is they always feel their needs are not met; they have a sense of entitlement and feel angry when they feel people should take care of them and they don't. They feel burdened by other people's needs and feel resentment towards them. These people can not be emotionally available to build healthy relationships. Addictions can also limit the level of availability of the partner to build a strong emotional relationship. Never marry an addict. Addictions are not limited to drugs and alcohol. They can be about addictions and dependency on work, internet, hobbies, sports, shopping, money, power, status, materialism, etc. When someone has an addiction, they will not and can not be emotionally available to develop an intimate relationship with you!

Additional points to consider:
The fact is no one looks 25 forever. Ultimately, we love the person we marry for more than their appearance. When we get to know someone we love and admire, we'll love them for their inner beauty and overall essence.
Once we find someone, we consciously or subconsciously want so badly for it all to work that we decide not to question or see what is clearly in front of our eyes: they were rude to the waiter, speaks ill of others, is rude to you, etc. We don't stop to ask, "What does all of this mean about their character?"
Never separate someone from their family, background, education, belief system, etc. Asking clear questions can clarify this. Ask questions like, "What does it mean to have a simple lifestyle?" "What are your expectations of marriage?" "How would you help around the house?" Compare your definition with theirs.

Be flexible. Be open-minded!
Giving in a happy marriage should not be confused with sacrifice. It should be about taking pleasure and seeing the other person as happy because of your connection with them.
Morality and spirituality are the qualities that truly define someone in addition to beauty, money and health. The morally upright and spiritual person will stand by your side during adversity and hardship. If someone isn't God conscience and doesn't take themselves into account with Allah (SWT) then why should you expect them to fulfill their rights owed to you? The ideal partner is someone who considers giving a gain and not causing a loss. Having a mutual and shared spiritual relationship will foster a successful marriage. Furthermore, a successful marriage is one that keeps the laws of family purity which require a certain degree of self-control and self-discipline, as well as the belief that the physical side of the relationship includes the spiritual and emotional side as well. Finding commonality and balance between the spiritual and emotional aspects of a relationship is a strong key to a healthy and thriving marriage.

( ref : muslim matrimonial)

~Luv CL~